Bohnenbaum Family: The good life in this world
Die Welt ist so schön, und die Welt ist so reich,
Doch ist halt das Leben für alle nicht gleich.
Es geht durcheinander, es ist kunterbunt,
Und doch ist die bucklige Welt kugelrund.
Ein jeder Mensch hofft, und ein jeder Mensch strebt,
Doch viele sind da, die umsonst nur gelebt.
Was nützt alles Denken, es gibt nur den Schluss,
Es kommt schließlich alles, wie kommen es muss.
(from: »Wenn der Herrgott net will, nutzt es gar nix« by Artur Kaps and Ernst Arnold, 1935)
The Bohnenbaums on the way to the future.
The Bohnenbaums have no particular affinity for the religious. They expect no comfort from this side and fear no threats. Heaven and hell are not an option. But the Bohnenbaums are not getting any younger. (Just compare the faces of the Bohnenbaums in the Kramer-and-Kramer magazine "Summer Garden Dream" from 2009 with those shown here.) They are well aware of their own finiteness. So far, however, it has been a metaphysical problem for them, not a technical one. And with this, they are increasingly alone.
With vehemence and great jubilation, techno-optimism is sweeping across the Great Pond[1], and in some places it is replacing religion. And even if the Bohnenbaums don't quite trust the zeitgeist, prefer to deal with the finer things and wisely avoid the daily impositions, they occasionally stumble upon news from the wider world. When they read, see, hear (have to) what's going on out there, what's considered modern and what's considered outdated and who all thinks they're right with their opinion, they're quite amazed. And sometimes they are overwhelmed by the feeling of no longer feeling the pulse of the times. They don't want this, curiosity is innate. They do want to know what their present brings with it, and they are willing to risk a look forward into one of the many possible futures.
As they are known to have benefactors all over the world, thanks to their above-average social competence, they received an invitation again this year. Into a garden with a beautiful house in the middle (as chance would have it, designed by Kramer and Kramer). However, this exquisite place was not an ordinary residence, here two outstanding proponents of their field, let's call them scientists out of courtesy, named Sissy von Bingen and Elias Feelgood had settled with their "Transhumanist Institute". You ask what that is? So did we and the Bohnenbaums. Although we cannot reveal where this institute is located due to a strict non-disclosure agreement, not even the home continent can be mentioned, the purpose of the facility can be said: eternal youth. In this life, mind you, not as a reward in the afterlife for having said "hello" and "please" and "thank you" all your life, only to be taken by the Grim Reaper.[2] Here, then, stood the leading center of the anti-death movement, which emerged under the influence of the Californian[3] sun and various consciousness-altering substances, which no longer accepts the inevitability of natural aging, not even wanting to accept aging as a mere annoyance.
FACTSHEET
Garden area: 3.000 m²
Furniture: Paul Smith, Paola Lenti, “Family Chairs” and “Rabbit & the Tortoise Collection” tables by Living Divani, “Mini Tomolo” armchairs by Living Divani, “Bistro” parasol by Paola Lenti, “Rea” armchair & “Everyday Life” sofa by Paul Smith/De Padova, “T.54” armchair by De Padova
Features: natural stone steps, polygonal natural stone slabs
Planting: Woodruff underplanting, lavender, verbena, hyssop, dwarf pines, soapwort, juniper, hydrangeas, coneflowers, Japanese sickle firs, uniqueTrees® - solitary trees - white pines, silk tree, birches
Plant Pots: “Bilbao” & “Atlantis Natural” from Domani
Now, "not dying" is certainly a very pleasant concept for most living beings at first, but unfortunately it does not appear particularly plausible based on our experiences.
The Bohnenbaums are known to be open to everything, they listen and watch. They think they will survive the few days. The atmosphere is enchanting, the house an architectural gem, the garden a wild, green dream. Apart from Rosa, Nina, Sophie, Hans and Wolf-Walter Bohnenbaum, there are only three other guests here on site. Jackie and Fitzgerald, a dazzling and charming couple of unrecognizable origin, and a man from overseas, completely wrapped in bandages and thus not identifiable, who introduces himself as Elonius Second2None.[4] A undoubtedly highly intelligent, but at most semi-educated lad, who draws his drive from the aforementioned consciousness-altering substances, which can potentially lead to megalomania, definitely to an unrealistic self- and worldview and hardly to great wisdom.[5] Having a refined conversation with him was not easy for the Bohnenbaums, which was not only due to his bandages.[6] Only Nina seemed romantically fascinated, which was probably due to his bandages, as she loves to help and loves to be in love. Who needs a face?
Spending time with Jackie and Fitzgerald was significantly more pleasant. They had already been at the institute for several weeks and were assisting the Bohnenbaums with advice and action. For example, how to stomach the foul brew made from salamander skin[7] secretion, jellyfish[8] excretions and various other unspecified ingredients that was served to them day in, day out in colorful vials. And how to cope with the daily schedule, which did not at all correspond to the beloved habits of the Bohnenbaums. Here is a comparison:
At the Institute:
4:40 AM: Wake up (alone)
5:00 AM: Breakfast (chia seeds, macadamia nuts, and berries)
8:00 AM: Lunch (lentils and garlic, steamed and pureed)
11:00 AM: Dinner (broccoli and cauliflower, steamed and pureed)
6:00 PM: Go to bed (alone)
At the Bohnenbaums:
From 9:00 to 11:00 AM: Wake up (occasionally alone)
From 9:30 AM to 1:30 PM: Breakfast (anything that tastes good and is well prepared)
From 1:30 to 4:30 PM: Lunch (anything that tastes good and is well prepared)
From 7:30 to 11:30 PM: Dinner (anything that tastes good and is well prepared)
From 12:00 AM to never: Go to bed (occasionally alone)
The Bohnenbaums believe that the human species could, if it wished, transcend itself. In this, they too are transhumanists. However, they question whether it makes sense for humanity as a whole if individuals compete to see who can live longer, as if it were about having the longest yacht. The Bohnenbaums are convinced that the drive for optimization does not always lead to the optimal result, the best life is not the one that lasts the longest.
They, who themselves are comprised of representatives from Generations X, Y, and Z, believe it's entirely reasonable for generations to eventually replace one another. To outsmart the relentless Grim Reaper by unraveling our telomeres[9]one day would mean that at some point, so many people would be living on the planet that no new one could be born. Somewhat unfair. Because whether we are the best humanity of all time, the one worth preserving, can certainly be doubted. But the Bohnenbaums have also learned something here for a better life, the resolutions are ambitious: Work less, sleep more, occasionally drink something other than Gin and Tonic.
[1] "Whatever starts in California, unfortunately, has an inclination to spread." Jimmy Carter, 39th President of the United States.
[2] "Whoever can say witty things about death, whoever can bring himself to do that, deserves it." Elias Canetti (1905–1994), Bulgarian-British writer and aphorist of German language.
[3] "Californians invented the concept of lifestyle. This alone warrants their doom." Don DeLillo, American writer.
[4] He worked not only on his immortality here, but also very specifically on preparing for a fight with a colleague who lives in the same valley as him, but is 13 years younger and knows Jiu-Jitsu.
[5] The famous, California-born Super-Centenarian Yoda, for example, has failed to learn the rather simple English sentence structure S-P-O in more than 700 years of life.
[6] "What's the use of health if you're an idiot anyway?" A well-known joke of unknown origin.
[7] Salamanders are known to not only regenerate their limbs, but also the lens and retina of the eye and the intestine.
[8] The jellyfish Turritopsis dohrnii has the ability to reverse its life cycle from the adult stage to the juvenile stage, making it potentially immortal.
[9] Telomeres are the "protective caps" of our chromosomes and play a central role in the aging process.